Southernisms

I have something fun for you all. Colloquialisms or ” Southernisms” as I like to call these. Growing up in the south you are inundated with everyone’s words of wisdom. It is part of what I love most about the south. Along with the people and food of course. Some of these have been passed down from my Pap-paw and Granny. Some are from my family and some are from dear friends. These always make my stomach muscles hurt and my eyes tear up. Some even leave me baffled or stupefied. I am adding a TICKLED guide for you. That way you will have an “inkling” of how they affect me. I hope that you enjoy them. I know that I get a kick out of them.

Feel free to add some of your own to the list, I would love to hear some new ones. Let me know if some of these are similar to what you have grown up with. You can even comment on the absurdity of some… because there are couple of crazy ones. I will be adding more as I remember them and as my friends pass them along.

Guide

SM-Stomach Muscles hurting

TU-Teared Up

BBB-Baffled Beyond Belief

CBF-Can’t Breathe Funny

YDJST-You Didn’t Just Say That

Southernisms

“Bless it’s heart”– Good for any & all things. From a person who aggravates you to the point of brain damage, to a poor lil’ pitiful critter. Sarcasm or endearment.

“That will make a dog pull a freight train back-ards”-YDJST: I honestly don’t know what to tell you. It is astounding.

“It’ll make you slap your grand-maw”-SM: This is used when something is funny, good or confounding in general.

“Ain’t had so much fun since the hogs ate my little brother”-YDJST: Used for a shock affect and to get a rise out of an audience.

” Ah’m a dawn-key on the edge”-CBF: It is mother’s quote on those stress filled days. This is stolen from Shrek but when said with the appropriate tone, accent and timing… it leaves me needing a new set of lungs and stitches.

“Dadgum” : It is better than the similar offensive bad word that has a tendency to slip out.

“Son of a Beech Nut Honey”-BBB: I was told this by a Nun in 4th grade. My mom was not thrilled :)

“If ya can’t run with the big dawgs, ya gonna half to sit on the front porch”-SM: No I didn’t typo. That is phonetically correct for the person who told it to me. Good ole Pap-paw.

“Ain’t got no dog in this fight”-One of my favorites. Works for all occasions. I use it often.

“Get yur head and yur bum wired to the same sheet of music”-TU/CBF: I look back on this one with fondness. I heard it nearly every day of my life. I exasperated my parents so much. Only… bum is my word :)

“It’ll feel better once it quits hurtin’ “-BBB: Southern parents and grand-parents are so worried about wounds, not. They don’t buy that hurt business. Okay, I’ll go bleed behind the barn now.

“He ain’t big enough to grease a frying pan”-CBF: The response to my sisters new pet gerbil. Classic.

“You would loose your rear (head) if it wasn’t nailed on”-SM: Yep I still hear this one a lot. I have cell phone issues.

“That youngin’ would flyah back-ards if it had the sense of a hummin’ bird”-BBB: No words from me will help you with this one. Pap-paw again.

“That’ll make a dawg hunt”-SM/TU: Southerners and their dogs. Some are pampered, some are not but all are loved.

“Woman’s just like a milk cow…she’s subject to go bad over night”-YDJST: Geez, Pap-paw. No wonder Granny kept switches through out the house. That was one brave comment in a house comprised of a wife, 5 daughters and only 1 son to agree with you.

“I Swany”-BBB: I have been clueless for years. Please mom explain.

“They couldn’t hem a hog in a ditch”– TU: Comment about a bowlegged person. Per Tammy’s dear momma.

“They could bite a pumpkin through a fence”-CBF: Too funny. This obviously is a reference about poor dental hygiene. Again per Tammy’s dear momma.

“God Love’m”-Term of endearment from Tammy

“John Brown it”!!!– Amy and her dad said, “That was his bad word. Still cracks me up and he’s 73 now”. Thanks Amy

“Make haste now”-Amy said, ” My Grandma would say….hurry the___ up in a nice way. lol” .

“Well,  Shut The Front Door!”– This one is added by Cottage girl. May not be exactly southern, but I like it. Thanks!

“You ain’t got nary lick o’ sense”-SM: Nary is such a good word. Thanks Todd

“This here’s your’n“– (pronounced urine) TU: Another good one from Todd.

“I’m about to have an SSS episode”-CBF:  Sudden Snap Syndrome. This one is what my darlin’ surfer came up with for when someone drives him over the edge. As he pointed out there is a syndrome now a days for just about everything. Why not have one for when you loose it. Typically used at work.

“There is going to be some sad singing and some slow walking”-TU: What a military dad told his children when they stepped out of line. Thanks Sherry

“Were you raised in a barn? “ -SM: Classic. Thanks Miss Connie

“Don’t get into a pissing match with a skunk.”-TU: Another one from Miss Connie

“That’ll learn you.”-SM: Again another great one from Miss Connie

Can you breathe? Are your tummy muscles sore? Do you need a tissue for your eyes?

I love being a southern girl :)

While you guys enjoy a good giggle and traipse down memory lane, I will be living in the land of catch-up.

Not ketchup! I know someone out there just had that thought go through their head. I  realize that both ketchup and I are red but that is not what I mean. I am behind. Really, really behind. We are talking drastically behind. I wish that I was exaggerating on some level but sadly I am not. It is all my fault. I am a bona-fide procrastinator now a days. I need to get my act together and today is the day…after I finish this of course. What? At least I have not put you guys on the back burner. I know, I know…stop procrastinating Red!

My poor house resembles the one from Zathura…BOOM! Crash! Destroyed! The only difference is that mine is not on fire. It is of course over run by aliens, only I call them monkeys. The rest of my weekend will be wading through dishes (I am making more cheesecakes), laundry ( I never seem to catch-up) and dusting (that time again). As well as a pile of old catalogs, magazines and returned school work that is a foot tall. I desperately need to weed through that stack.

Talk to you soon….hopefully!

Tickled Red